I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
