The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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