Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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