what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
