i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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