The maid of honor just puked.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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