Your mouth is God's brothel.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize