Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
