so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Randomize
