So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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