Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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