So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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