let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Will exercising make me less horny?
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