he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize