Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
