i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
