The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
