A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
i now understand why vodka
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
All the doctor said was why
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
