I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
