I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
