We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
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How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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