I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
