My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
