I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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