Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
