i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
