Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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