My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
