your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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