I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
