it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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