did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
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And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
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You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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