I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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