in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
