I'm gonna have a badass scar
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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