I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
