Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
