wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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