I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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