I just made out with a guy for $7.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
