Sry I called you an 8
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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