office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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