Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
She announced her abortion via fbk
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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