I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
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You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
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your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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