just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
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