direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
