bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
