i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
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i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
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I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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