i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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