i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
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