It's like God shit irony all over that family
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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