If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
