I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
