break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
