Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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