For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
