his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
