...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
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How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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