Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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