if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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