What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
