we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
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